Dianne B’s Enchanted Acre

LAST SATURDAY, even though I felt like sh*t (flu-like symptoms from a prophylactic tetanus shot the day before), I dragged myself to the village of East Hampton to get a first-hand view of the fabled gardening talents of Dianne B, onetime fashion-world celeb, now garden author (Dirt, Hamptons Cottages & Gardens) and fellow blogger.

I’m not sure what I expected — but I couldn’t have imagined the highly quirky, unconventional garden I found.

When she wrote Dirt in the early ’90s, Dianne was living on a larger property with her husband, Irving; now she lives on an acre with her partner, Lys. The garden is “new and evolving,” according to the description in the catalogue of the Garden Conservancy’s Open Days program, of which Dianne B’s garden was a part.

Sick as I was, I’m sure I’m missed the subtleties, like Dianne’s beloved jack-in-the-pulpits and the collection of fritillaria, whose drooping heads Dianne views via a long stick with a mirror on the end — surely some kind of Victorian invention — that she carries as she traipses about in her trademark jodphurs, a la Vita Sackville-West, and leopard-skin boots.

But the garden as a whole is hardly subtle. It’s more like an art installation, with sculptures, contorted trees, bizarre topiaries, and color combos like chartreuse and pink. If it weeps or twists, Dianne has it. It all adds up to a dramatic, bohemian garden, surrounding a sprawling shingled ranch.

Truth to tell, it was a bit much for my feverish eyes. I’d like to go back someday when my temperature is normal.

Pull, Plant, Move, Weed, Shear, Lop…it’s May

SO TODAY I’M OUT IN THE GARDEN, following a nice morning rain, yanking out white-flowering, foot-tall garlic mustard before it seeds, and I uncover this fellow, above, with the pretty yellow markings. I’m not much for wildlife photography — deer and wild turkeys tend to move off by the time I get my camera focused — but in this case, I was able to run all the way into the house for the camera and find him right where I left him.

The warm weather has brought out tons of weeds, most of whose names I don’t know. Wisteria, bane of last year, is in evidence, but much reduced. There’s going to be some intensive hand-labor around here in the weed department.

If anybody can identify the weedy groundcover, below, please tell me. And how to get rid of it.

Last night, I made a list of garden chores for the week:

• Pull garlic mustard.
• Plant grasses from Steph (my friend brought over three hefty miscanthus clumps, which went in today).
• Plant four nandina ‘Gulfstream’ (heavenly bamboo) and two ilex glabra (a type of holly) from Costco; they were $13 each and very healthy-looking. Which I did – but before doing it, I had to move 5 rhamnus frangula (alder buckthorn) bought last year from White Flower Farm at great expense and still only a few inches tall. Bah. They’re not going to serve as screening between myself and my next-door neighbors, so I put them in a sunny spot in the far reaches of the backyard, where I can forget about them instead of being aggravated every time I open the front door and see how pitifully small they are.
• Plant remaining things from upstate — threadleaf coreopsis, 1 kerria japonica, 1 viburnum. All done this afternoon. Check!

But the list went on, with things un-done.

• Move chelone (turtlehead) and Japanese silver ferns up front.
• Pull crabgrass and other weeds from “lawn” area.
• Shear grass in “lawn” area. I use the term advisedly — it’s increasingly more weeds and less turfgrass. Notice I don’t say “mow.” I don’t have a mower.
• Cut down browning, unattractive juniper.
• Lop Rose of Sharon scattered about the property (that which I didn’t get around to earlier in the season).
• Pick up branches and winter storm damage throughout.
• Plant more flowering trees.
• Get a handle on nameless invasive weedy groundcover.
• Collect more rocks for path edging.
• Mulch.

Suddenly I sat up in bed with my list and scribbled one last item:

• “Call help?!?”

I’ve got a flyer here for “Spring Yard Clean-Up Specials.” That’s what I need: a spring clean-up special.

My garden labors today were eased by the example of a woman my friend Caren and I met last night on our evening constitutional down to Maidstone Beach. We were admiring the plantings in front of a tidy cottage — they reminded me of my own baby beds, with many of the same things I’ve planted, edged with similar rocks — when a woman came forth with a watering can. We complimented her handiwork and got a tour. She’s fully exploited everything deer-proof — irises, peonies, weigela, ferns, grasses, and on and on; set things on pedestals made of found stone; positioned everything in the right place so all is thriving and green; made the yard welcoming to birds with a bird bath and feeders.

Her name is Lois, and she must be well into her 70′s. Lois has something I don’t have, but am trying to cultivate: patience. She’s planted a wisp of red barberry here, a tiny fern there, and she’s clearly OK with waiting for it all to happen in its own good time. Whereas I want the lush, billowing effect immediately, if not sooner. Here’s Lois, not worrying that the garden better happen quickly because she may not have that much time left to enjoy it, but enjoying it as it is right now.

With Lois as inspiration, my four hours in the garden today were more relaxed than usual. I’m doing it. It’s happening. In its own time.

Bright Top Floor 1BR in Prime Philly $975

UPDATE 6/3/10: This is back on the market, available immediately. For more pics and info, email caramia447@gmail.com.

YOU WERE THINKING OF MOVING TO PHILADELPHIA, weren’t you? Or maybe you already live there and need new digs.

The town is hot hot hot, so hot that the popular Brooklyn-based real estate blog, Brownstoner, has just launched a Philly franchise. I mean, that says it all. Philadelphia is now officially New York City’s sixth borough, if it wasn’t already when The New York Times called it that a few years back.

Artists and young people (including my son) are moving there for its cultured but laid-back vibe, less stressful and competitive than NYC, and cheaper. Bars and restaurants opening by the day. World-class everything: gardens, parks, libraries, museums, galleries, historic neighborhoods…personally, I adore Philadelphia and hope to live there one day myself.

But not right away. Which brings me to the subject of this post: I have a wonderful 1-bedroom apartment for rent in one of Philadelphia’s finest neighborhoods, Queen Village (roughly equivalent to the West Village in Manhattan) — and on a prime block, too.

Available June 1st, the apartment is in one of two 19th century townhouses I own in Philly, the older one. The building dates from 1810, and was once a parsonage for the church next door, now co-ops.

The word ‘aerie’ springs to mind: it feels like a roost, on the top (third) floor, overlooking treetops, rooftops, and the flower-filled courtyard of the building next door.

The building is attached only on one side, so there are six windows with three exposures — south and west (the living room and kitchen) and east (the bedroom). Like most Philadelphia buildings, the proportions are on the diminutive side. The apartment is 650 square feet total. It’s best for one person. The kitchen and bathroom are 1980s modern, with newish appliances — in any case, completely serviceable. There ‘s a dishwasher and a washer-dryer.

The downstairs entrance is shared by just one other tenant. It’s quiet and peaceful, but not far from Center City, Italian Market (with its outdoor food stalls), South Street, and any number of bars and restaurants. There’s a sweet park (Mario Lanza) around the corner.

Winter view from one window

Queen Village is actually the oldest neighborhood in Philadelphia. Once called Southwark, it grew up around the 1699 Old Swede’s Church (still there!) The streets and alleys are filled with old brick townhouses, and nothing but.

Oh – the rent. $975/month, plus utilities (electric and water, roughly $90/month in spring and fall, $150/month in summer/winter). Heating/cooling is via electric heat pump, the all-in-one units like those found in hotel rooms. There’s one in the living room and one in the bedroom, and they’re very efficient.

Courtyard next door

If interested, e-mail me without delay: caramia447[at]gmail.com. Or go here for my craigslist posting, which also has my phone number.

Near Mario Lanza Park