IT HAPPENS TIME AND AGAIN. I get suckered in by the pretty language in real estate ads. “Diamond in the rough” never fails to excite me, serial renovator that I am.

Here are a few classic real-estate euphemisms and what I now, in my growing cynicism, suspect they mean:

  • “magical cottage”(ramshackle dump)
  • “mature specimen plantings”(horrifying weed patch)
  • “endless possibilities” (given enough cash)
  • “quaint country kitchen” (formica & linoleum)

Fortunately, I’ve found that you when you call for more information, most brokers open up.

The magical cottage?  That one “is really about the property.”  The “walk to bay beach” takes you past an auto body shop or two.  If you’re looking for privacy, that “hideaway cottage” is not for you — it’s cheek by jowl with other hideaway cottages.

Here’s one I’m planning to check out next time I get out to the East End of urrutiafortfront2Long Island. The cheery write-up begins: “A couple of nails, some paint, and voila!”

If only!

What are some of your ‘favorite’ real-estate  come-ons?

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